Mymavra.com - Pimp it your Way

            Pssst.  Hey, man! Hey, wake up! I dunno…I ain’t got a watch and we ain’t got a window.  It’s nighttime, whadda I know? Wake up a sec! Ya got any smokes on ya? I’m dyin’ here! I know they don’t allow any goddamn smokin’ in here, but did ya happen to sneak any in anyway? Kee-rist amighty!  I’m gonna die and I ain’t even gonna get a smoke first!

            Whaddya  mean am I sick? I ain’t gonna barf on ya, if that’s what yer askin’.  I’m all eaten up inside that’s what’s wrong with me! I said I’m fuckin’ dyin’, didn’t I? No, they don’t know. I guess if they did maybe they’da put me in a room with a better bed and maybe a window instead’a in here.  Don’t matter. It’s too late for me now. Don’t even care, ‘cept for wantin’ one last smoke. I ain’t gonna make it much longer. Lookit me! I can’t even hardly stand up now.  I got the shakes and the shivers all the way down to my feet!

            Don’t bother callin’ them to come get me.  Sorry to mess up yer night with my death, man, but this is where I am and this is where I’m gonna stay.  They can take me outta here afterwards and do what they want, but I don’t want them crawlin’ all over me now.  I jus’ need to sit down for a bit and wait it out.  So tired. Naw…thanks anyway.  I don’t wanna lay down in the bed. I’m fine here in the corner. No sense gettin’ too comfortable, is there?

            Why’m I here? Same reason as you, I s’pose.  How many people didya kill before they tossed ya in here?  Right, man…they always stick guys in here who didn’t do anything, don’t they?  Me?  Dunno how many I killed.  Kinda lost count. Yeah, that many. Why ya laughin? Ya think it’s funny? Kee-rist amighty, whatsa matter with you? I ain’t got the brains God gave a fly, heard that enough times, but I sure as hell don’t laugh over killin’ someone! I didn’t wanna kill ‘em. Whaddya think I am…some kinda monster? I didn’t have no choice.  Floyd told me to do it, so I did it. 

            Floyd? Man, you do not want to know, got it? Can I make myself any clearer? Forget it! Go back to bed and leave me here in peace.  Sorry I woke ya.  Fuck off, man, I’m warnin’ ya! What, ya think yer gonna get some kinda reward or somethin’ if ya rat me out? They already know I did it. I told ‘em I did it. What more do they need? Ha! They don’t know about Floyd and they don’t need to. They got me. Besides, he never hurt no one but me anyway.

            Ya think I’m wearin’ this patch on my eye to make a goddamn fashion statement?  Kee-rist amighty!  Ya think ya need to know all my dirty little secrets, man? Well, I ain’t got the strength to get rid of ya and ya ain’t smart enough to leave it alone, so ya might as well siddown. 

            I didn’t useta be this way. I wasn’t never no suit or nothin’, but I went to work every day and I always kept my nose clean, understand? Never even had a goddamn parking ticket. I was just a guy, just like any other guy ya’d pass on the street or buy gas or beer or smokes from down at the Quickstop.  Man, I sure would love a smoke…

            Yeah, yeah, don’t bug me, man.  Can’t get a damn smoke and ya won’t even let me stop to dream about it. Yeah, I worked at the Quickstop. Worked there before it was Quickstop, back when it was Dave’s Filling Station.  Long time…Anyway, that’s how I crossed paths with Floyd.

            Floyd started hangin’ out at the Quickstop. I didn’t pay too much attention to him at first, ya know. He’d come in, he’d go out and then I wouldn’t see him so I’d forget about him. No big deal.  It happens.  Then he started spendin’ more time in than out and it was pissin’ me off.  I decided to get rid of him for good.  Never thought for a minute he’d win that fight, little as he was, but he did.  He took my eye and I gave up.  I never was much of a fighter, I guess. 

I lost my job along with my eye.  Boss said I couldn’t do my job without two eyes, but I think he was just worried he was gonna get stuck payin’ my medical expenses. I told him what happened, but he said he wasn’t “responsible” for my bad luck, and told me to beat it. Fourteen years at that place and nothin’ but a kick in the ass on my way out the door.

            There I was…no job, no one wantin’ to give me a new one, hospital and doctor bills out the ass.  I lost everything.  Only thing I didn’t manage to lose was Floyd.  Fucker followed me and wouldn’t go away.  Kept talkin’ to me, night and day.  Woulda drove me right up the wall, if I’da had a wall. Kee-rist amighty, my head hurts.  Yeah, yeah, I’m gonna tell ya the rest. Might as well, now.  I got nothin’ better to do than die, right? Asshole!

            Ya oughtta know that Floyd don’t like people much.  He didn’t like me until he figgered out I wasn’t as tough as him, or as smart. I will give that much to him…he’s a helluva lot smarter than me.  From the looks of things, I bet he’s smarter than you, too. He started talkin’ about how worthless most people are, about how they look down on the likes of him and me, and about how easy it would be, how good it would feel to show ‘em that they ain’t all that.

            I didn’t wanna listen to him.  I tried to leave him behind, to shut him outta my head, but he was always right there with me, never lettin’ up for a minute.  The longer I was down on my luck, the more I started seein’ things his way.  People were lookin’ down their noses at me.  They’d walk big circles around me, tryin’ not to get too close and sometimes holding their breath as they went by, like I was gonna pollute them with my smell. What gave ‘em the right to judge me? Did they know what I’d been through? Fuck ‘em! Fuck ‘em all!

            Now ya see what I mean? Floyd got me all psycho and I was blamin’ them, when I shoulda been blamin’ him. It was all backwards, but I wasn’t thinkin’ too straight.  He started pointin’ out all the stuff that they had that we didn’t and how unfair it was. They didn’t deserve nothin’ special, so why shouldn’t we get some of what we deserved?  Yeah…but it made sense at the time. 

            Floyd picked out an easy target to start with. Some frail-lookin’ old guy walkin’ into a parkin’ garage near the hospital with a big bulge in his back pocket and no one around to help him.  I had been waitin’ there for most of the night for the right one to come along. I was cold and hungry and sick of hearin’ Floyd yak on and on. I didn’t even see the old man until Floyd  whispered, “Go get him!”

            That first one was the hardest. I almost chickened out, but Floyd gave me a sharp jab. I yelped and kinda stumbled forward. The old guy jumped when he saw me. He got real tense and reached back with one hand to pat his wallet, like makin’ sure I hadn’t snuck up on him and took it already. He was lookin’ around too, but I don’t know if it was for another person or for a way out.  Either way, his time was done.  Floyd gave me a kick and I ran at the guy. He just stood there, lookin’ lost and helpless. I didn’t have no weapon, so I grabbed him and ran him with me. I didn’t stop until his head smashed into the wall beside the elevator he had just come out of. He folded right up.

            I took his wallet…guess I’d earned it.  I didn’t know how we was gonna hide the body, but Floyd just said to let him take care of that stuff.  He did, too. No one ever found them. Lot of people around here just went missing. Ain’t no point goin’ into details with you about it. I didn’t stop to catch their names and Floyd got rid of ‘em.  They ain’t gonna be found…ever.  We was some team, even if I do hate the li’l sumbitch. After that first one, we had enough money most nights to get a decent place to sleep and a hot meal.  We might still be out there if I hadn’t got so sick. 

            That’s right. They didn’t catch me. I turned myself in.  I ain’t gonna make it ‘til mornin’ and I didn’t wanna die somewhere alone with no one noticin’ ‘cept Floyd.  Hell, I might lay in some alley for weeks, or Floyd might just get ridda me too. No one would even know I died. I don’t want that. I useta have a life. I useta be a person. I don’t wanna die alone and forgotten. I don’t wanna die with Floyd.

            So I’m cryin’. Big fuckin’ deal. This is it, man. I’m on my way outta here. Ya can go backta sleep now.  Leave me alone! Don’t touch me! Don’t touch me! Kee-rist amighty! Now ya done it, ya stupid fuck!  Floyd knows I’m a gonner and he wants out. Whaddya mean where is he? He’s been right here the whole damn time! He was sleepin’ until ya tried to pick me up offa the floor. Now he’s gonna bail on me. I’m all used up, no good to him anymore. I’m all ate up inside.

            Cancer? I ain’t got cancer. Floyd ate me up inside. Goddamn bug! Stung me in the goddamn eye, then he ate it. He’s been livin’ in the hole ever since, right under this patch. Wanna see? Take a good look! Ugly mutha, ain’t he?  But I’m free of Floyd now. He's leavin' me.  He says he wants to talk to you.